Hope renewed

Well, some people have noted that it's been a long while since I posted on this blog, or made any significant posts on Facebook.  There are a couple of reasons for that, primary among them is the fact that I have been battling a deep depression the last few months.  I had a lot of things rolling around in my head, and I fell into a dark place.  I am doing a little better, but there's still some work to be done on my part.  There are realistic, attainable goals for 2012 that I can and will meet, to make life better for Arlene and Jason.  Decisions that need to be made, financially, personally, health-wise and others.  What has helped me the most during this period, has been the love and support that I have gotten from Arlene and Jason, as well as from others who did not know what I was going through, but helped me nonetheless.  It's true that you never know what effect you are having on someone, because you don't know what is going on inside of them.  To all those who stuck by us, even though you had no idea what kind of tough times we were going through, I thank you.  These are debts I can never repay.  Jason's life, especially, is all the better for all of you being in it.

I have struggled to maintain the positive outlook that is the basis of this blog.  I have had a hard time believing that all will be well.  I have tried to be a rock for my family, to not show any cracks where fear could creep into the equation.  I have learned, however, that it's ok to show sadness and fear while still being a rock.  The truth is that being a rock doesn't mean being fearless.  It means overcoming that fear with the hope of a better day.  The Christmas season is an annual reminder of peace and hope for the whole world, so what better time to shake off the fears of yesterday and reach out for the hope of a better tomorrow?  I guess that's the message my Christmas tree has been trying to give me:

We all have the ability to make our lives better.  It's not easy, it's not quick, but it CAN be done.  Some of us can't do it alone.  There is no shame in that.  There is no shame in asking for help when you truly need it.  Why is it ok to ask your friends and family to help you move, but we think twice about asking them to listen to our problems or just be a shoulder to cry on?  You can still be strong and get help at the same time.  Don't ever believe that no one cares, because there is always at least one person who cares about what happens to you.  I want to conclude this post with a quote from a comic book.  Some of you just rolled your eyes, but I showed it to Arlene the other day and she agreed that it was very true.  The quote is from the graphic novel "Batgirl Rising", written by Bryan Q. Miller with art by Lee Garbett and Trevor Scott.  Batgirl says "A guy asked me a question the other day about why people run when things get tough.  That's easy, you can become someone else wherever you land, right?  Who's gonna know the difference?  So why stay?  Why set yourself up for more failure?  for more pain?  Also easy, because we don't know how to do anything else.  So why stay?  Why open yourself up to all the bad you've tried to leave behind?  The only variable you can control is yourself.  You can forget who you are, or you can be who you want to be.  That's why you stay.  You stay for a second chance."  Give yourselves that second chance.  It's really not as hard as you may think.  Till next time, folks.